Location: United States
One thing is for certain, I wouldn’t be where I am today if not for art. As a child who was constantly physically abused and ridiculed, I felt worthless. Thoughts of suicide ran through my head on a regular basis. Despite having those thoughts of self-worthlessness, I still felt like I had something positive to contribute, even as a child. What could I contribute? I wasn’t certain and even if I was, it would be hard to tell my father while he was pounding me. My father had a propensity for violence and abuse; he grew up that way, so I suppose that's all he knew. I’m not excusing him, but rather acknowledging that abuse is taught --- not something you pick up as a hobby.
I had to teach myself to be different, to challenge myself, while finding my passion to create. I turned to grafitti. I made huge murals for the Board of Eduction JHS125 in the late 90's in Queens New York. I visited The Guggenheim museum regularly for inspiration, and learned from those who struggled as artists and overcame their obstacles. And so, here I am today. I might not be the best role model because of my upbringing, but I'm here alive and creating.
In my book, that makes me a winner, for not quitting, being different and continuing my passion. Just a glimpse of my past, I'm still working on my book.
Inspired by artists who came before me and paved the way, I bring my style of figurative paintings in oil on canvas. each one depicting a scene wether real or imaginary about people, places and things subjective to the imagination. As an artist, I enjoy watching people, witnessing their behavior towards each other, and I try to imagine who they really are in true life, because after all, don't we all wear masks?
Growing up in New York City can sometimes be intimidating. people of high society carry themselves differently than how you were raised. they are not subjected to ridicule and pain, alcohol abuse, or anything that makes them equal to the rest of us. But I found that to be untrue, no matter the financial background and the education, we are all subjective to the same pains and inadequate feelings. it's just that the sophisticated don't express it. they conceal it, while others don't conceal it very well at all. But If you look carefully we are all in some kind of pain. And I will catch it in my art, the paintings never lie, especially when you treat me like a lower-being.
Self portrait. Oil on canvas. Not really sure why this one was created, but I recall having each viewer paint something on my canvas as I mingled with the crowd. After everyone was done, and inspired by the loud music emanating from the speakers, I transformed their strokes into this oil painting as the crowd watched and witnessed.