“Free”

The story of the painting is that as a child I was treated harshly by a tyrannical father, to be scared and quiet, no matter what I said or did it was not good enough, and got scolded, to get a firm belief that you have to be careful what you say and do otherwise something unpleasant will happen, I didn't understand it, and my life because no one was loving, protective and told me about it. As a child at first I got very angry at him, threw stones at things and against a window, he grabbed me hard into a room, and he want me to take off my belt to hit me, I was very scared, sad and would not take it off, after which he finally left, that and other episodes gave me a firm faith and became afraid and quiet of him and others. The purpose I never knew, only after 45 years someone told me that I was not allowed to be with women as I most of all wanted. Life has been difficult, frustrating and anxious with a mental illness when it has to be perfect, and my way through life has therefore been without love and less with women, usually without anxiety I am sociable, happy and loving, but with it I was bullied, ignored and rejected, I had to change, and became sociable, fearless and funny but inside terribly scared, it was hard, and suffered severe depression later in life. Therefore, I have painted an Indian who is calm, with them with or without love I would be free, myself and happy, because they lived calmly, simply, humbly and peacefully, and were therefore tolerant, relaxed, kind and calm, and the keyword love is important it means with love I would have been free, myself, loving and being more with women and happy. Peace, Love & Harmony.

“Look and Be Yourself”

There is a purpose in making this painting of a wild-looking African tribal woman with a beautiful headdress, a large round plate inserted into her lips, earplugs, and small earrings, which I have made on paper 84 x 119 cm with dry colors, acrylic, and glitter gold. It's because I like their way of life better as primitive and free, therefore I see them as calmer and more tolerant people. It the distancing and desire for peace from people who turn out to be evil, determining, unloving (indifferent towards others than themselves) and uncomprehending (without ability or willingness to familiarize themselves with and accept other people's different way of being, needs, values, choices, etc.), who like evilness (which seeks to add pain, injury or suffering to others), they want to determine and harm me so they can get power the way they want. As a sweet (with a personality, a way of being or, an appearance that is endearing or touching to others) and loving (a very strong feeling of tenderness and affection towards a living beings you care about and you wish them a better life than yourself) person, I don't understand the meaning of it and I don’t like it. I get astounded, scared and quiet inside me, I think it's ridiculous, stupid and strange as it makes no sense when it becomes malicious. I find them to be stupid, terrible, merciless, and selfish. I consider these people and the industry which they have made to be a problem for humanity and life on earth. If they are dissatisfied with themselves and their lives or envious of what I do, who I am, and how I look, and they don't like me and don't like to feel a certain way that I also feel sometimes, it does not give them the right to interfere and destroy/harm me in any way. I want them to understand that they should take charge of their own lives. This also tells me something about them; that they are matchsticks that quickly break if they have to be mean when they feel a certain emotion that they don't like about me. I don't care about how you look, what you do, or who you are, I am like you who has the right to be here, look and live as a human being the way I want, feel good, and be myself without the fear of being exposed to stupid and evil intentions from you if you are frustrated, dissatisfied and envious. It is better you treat people with kindness and dignity so people can feel good, even if you have that certain emotion you don't like to feel, no one and not even you want to have the fear of being exposed to evilness. If you have that feeling and want to hurt me, it would be best if you looked after your own life and go after your industry and try to stop and harm it instead. It is unloving people like you and the industry which is evil, made inhumane, and too difficult that gives people stress, fear, psychological problems and turns people selfish, evil, angry and frustrated, because you want them to work harder and faster, for the purpose of survival, that gives people a shit day and it will help if your industry would slow down, take it easy, stop growing, not be evil and not take life so seriously.
In this modern world, it is a crime to stand out from the crowd, be yourself, and look beautiful and different, which can lead to gaining attention and attraction because of the ungifted and unloving people who want to prevent other people from having intercourse with who they like and having a loving relationship with them, by threatening, scaring, and harming them, they may, strangely enough have it or not have it, but also want it. And maybe, people have been lucky with their looks, which unloving people will feel envious about if they do not have same, they might show an envious expression to them when people look at them or they will be mean to people if people hang out with them, and people know when they do it they are not loving. The industry contains a lot of laws and regulations, and people must comply with those laws or, in the opposite case, they will be punished. This makes people scared; and that is the purpose, and that's how unloving people can get people to do what they want. The industry believes that everything has to be in a certain perfect way (which is without faults or defects; completely satisfactory like cool, flawless, fearless, and great), and they know it is tough, but they like to see people do it. Sweet people find it to be stupid, far too serious, and ridiculous that life must be so hard and about perfection, growth, money, things, toughness, and hard work which the industry finds to be more valued and greater than humanity and devotion. This is how they can have control and change people's attitudes towards them, to fit in and be valued.
People believe that those who work hard and have done it well are better people, not minding if the person is an asshole. Like other people, there are those unloving people who also want to lead themselves forward to achieve success, attention, attraction, and sex but they don't dare to show courage and they will not admit it, they are afraid of rejection and feel inferior, and they will strangely enough, not like it if they will be harmed by people of the same violence they love. And when they see people stand for themselves and stick their nose out and want to promote themselves with their appearance or talent in public or on social media, with the dream of ultimately achieving wealth and amazing sex they will feel envious that they dare to show courage, they will say and do evil things to them, directly or indirectly, with their evil plans to cause hindrance and stop people from making their dreams come true. They think it's fine to rule, be mean and unkind to people, and think they have weight and power and will get respect if they do it, and they will feel amazing and satisfied if they do it and win, and they will do everything they can to win by using evil and savagery. They know that if they can pull people down and make them afraid, they will be stopped for the purpose that they should be here and have a life. Unloving people like to fit into an evil and crazy world with people like them, and because of that, many sweet people refrain from pushing themselves forward, unlike unloving people who like it evil and crazy. Unloving people should realize that it will be best for life on planet earth if they disappeared and swam into the deep black sea and drowned themselves. This would benefit all the sweet people who are loving and do not fit into this stupid, evil, and inhumane world, to whom my painting is a tribute. People can do and look as they want and be themselves with these wonderful people. They would never be mean to people if they get humiliated or want to stop people with malice if they feel envious of those who are leading themselves forward and want attention, attraction and sex by showing themselves in public in eye-catching dresses or other notable things like the wild African woman in my painting. Sweet people want others to be well and happy no matter what, they like living beings, and for them, it is extra hard to join and be part of society, because they don't fit into an evil and inhumane society, they would rather that society is humane, loving and kind where they will fit in, they do not understand evil and distance themselves from unloving people who treat them poorly and who like toughness over devotion and have polluted the industry. They like people who are sweet, honest, real, understanding and loving like them and like to live an easy, calm and simple lifestyle in peace, love, and harmony which means to be perfect in their world, and I believe that these people and what they like are healthier and better for people, animals, and plants and will make the world more peaceful, happier and a calmer place.
The industry which for sweet people is about indifferent topics like the outer, perfection, money, and materials, which is made so people can feel good and get everything that they want, but without devotion and understanding and only if people do exactly what the power-hungry fools say which will be difficult for people and strangely enough also for themselves. They believe the world belongs to them. You experience these people most often in public because society is made for them; they think they are amazing when they are evil and have power, and they like to put fear into others, but don't like it themselves so, they become mean and wild if people reciprocate. When they get wild by doing evil things, people get scared, which gives them the power they want. This is how they win and become powerful over people who are not like them and do not like it, and they avoid them by being wild and evil and win to feel the emotions they give people which is fear and worthlessness, according to the rules of their self-made industry. If people will change their attitude as it is now, where they want it to be about work, evil, and being crazy but instead consider that love will be better for life on earth to live our lives as living beings and feel good instead, people would live a more simple and calm life which I believe is more humane, people would be satisfied, calmer and happier with themselves and others. People would realize that they no longer are subject to a lot of determination, control, evil, and punishment from unloving people who are power-hungry fools, and not walk around and be so scared anymore, they would instead interact more with strangers outside, and they will figure out that they are indifferent to computers and they are unimportant for their life and not have to spend their precious time in cyberspace looking into a screen, people will instead think life makes more sense to live as human beings without unimportant things and allowed to be who they are, look as they want and behave the way they want without them being exposed to evil all the time, they would have the time to live in the moment and be a kinder and happier people and more relaxed and tolerant because society is now about humanity and love.
Therefore, the painting is really to emphasize that the best people in the world are sweet people because they are real, honest, and have love, empathy, and compassion. Whereas these mean-spirited people are not good for living beings and shouldn't be valued for their unloving intentions, even if they are what society expects from us strong mentally and doing a good job they do more harm than good. While interacting with them, you open yourself up to them like the sweet person you are, but it turns out they're lying to you about themselves and their lives, you can sense that and you don't like them lying, and you know they are unloving people when they do it, they want to appear as amazing which they think in their world is fearless and cool, they are scared of being rejected, humiliated and not feeling good enough if they are not. They don’t feel good about sharing not-so good things about their lives and how they truly feel (vulnerability, weakness, fragility) with people. They think it makes them look weak and appear as a loser, which these people dislike. They expect people to be in a certain way (cool, fearless, flawless, and awesome) with them, or else they will not like them and be mean to them, their behavior seems like that, but people can sense they are not themselves to please them and to be with them, and when they suddenly become evil assholes who bully and judge you in the group, if you are not like them but show you are vulnerable and yourself, so to avoid this you must come into the fight or be someone else and show you are "great" (fearless and cool), but it makes no sense for you to fight and not be human and yourself, you are not evil like them and do not like what they say and do, and in reality, they don't like living beings and you shouldn't be here, so it makes no sense for a sweet person to be with them. When sweet people show courage and talk to unloving people, they can sense they judge you within themselves, if they become envious of your look, or that you showed courage which they can’t dare to do, and appear as who you are, they don't like you for it they either show it or tell you in an indirect mean way that you are not good enough for them and you don't do it to them regardless of what you see and who you talk to, your behavior is sweet and you want the best for them, but strangely enough, the unloving people don't like it and reject you in an inhumane and cold manner. Sweet people don't want to determine and be tough, they instead talk sweetly and calmly, especially to children if they have done some inappropriate things, they want to share their knowledge about life and people and want to help them, so they can go through life with that knowledge in an easier way, they love and accept them and want them to feel good and be themselves. And when sweet people show their love towards other living beings, they feel good, happy, and satisfied. For them what the industry is about is very stupid and pointless, therefore as the sweet people they are, it makes more sense for them to care for and be with living beings. It would be meaningless for them to be with unloving people where there is no love. It will be their priority to live in a world that is not about evils and things but about living beings and love.

The Tribal Woman

The tribal woman that I have painted wears a headdress with a patterned scarf around her head. At the back of the head, there are decorative sticks and feathers on sticks stuck through a hair knot. I painted the light feathers because it was something the Indians created and wore. I see it as a sign of gentleness, kindness, beauty, attention, and attraction.
On the top of the headdress, I have painted Japanese-inspired round small carved wooden sticks, designed to emit calmness and peace. In the ears, there are earrings and large eye-catching earplugs. I have drawn it so that the ear hangs at the bottom so it looks like it has large plates inserted as tribal people also do and that are now replaced with small earrings.
Earrings and plugs are something I associate with being noticed, attractive, beautiful, different, and cool. But what you see is not always what you get. In the lower lip, a large round plate is inserted with patterns that look wild and different from Western eyes. It is something that men in Africa think looks beautiful on women. Maybe because they think the women aren't really beautiful, and want them to vandalize their looks and replace them with beautiful things. But if so, I think it is a stupid, selfish, and ignorant mindset of the men, where a woman’s beautiful look means more to them than who she is. It is shown that many men are visual, power-hungry, and unloving. Tribal people change and vandalize their looks as they were made to look beautiful, to be noticed, to attract, to please others, and to get sex. It is a simple, poor, and free way of living, where they are allowed to do whatever they want without being determined over and get punished for it, as it does not have to be in a certain perfect way, and not have to be afraid of whether they have a good enough life or have to live on the streets like people in the western modern civilization.
Over her shoulders, I have painted patterned rugs. The carpet was something the Indians wore around them which I associate with something warm, soft, and good. The soft and warm values I associate with sweet, calm, and harmless people who like a life where people feel good in peace, love, and harmony. On the face of the woman, I have painted a distinctive pattern. I like patterns, I see them as beautiful; tribal people paint patterns on their faces and turn their bodies into beautiful liberating works of art without them having to be afraid of too much malice, which I see people are more exposed to in the western modern society, their life is more stressed, frustrated, scared, angry and envious because of the industry which is not humane, healthy or good for people.
I have painted the circles out from the pupil in different colors as a reference to people’s obsession with beauty. They see the beauty and are attracted to it and want to own it, but what I see in people is usually a fake look. This is proof that many people are not honest about who they are with their looks in public. They are not truthful in their behavior and looks, they look cool, different, and beautiful. And when you talk to them, their behavior is seen as amazing, fearless, and attractive. But, in reality, they are not real themselves and have fear of interacting with strangers, with the risk of exposing their mediocrity and being humiliated, rejected, and feeling less worthy. If they look at you and seem interested in your look, but dare not speak to you at the risk of being rejected and you are the one who must show courage and go and talk to them instead, and it then turns out that they are selfish and mean, if you show you are real and yourself and not like them, or if it turns out that they just looked at you because they were envious of your beauty, and don't like you for that reason, then you can be sure they will reject you in a degrading way, so you must perceive them in an untrue way as better than you and you are not good enough for them, even if you were the one who was tough, brave, showed interest and were nice going to talk to them with the risk of being rejected and feel worthless, which I, as a sweet person, find to be cool, worthy, honest and humane, than not to showing courage and risking getting rejected and not feel good enough. It's proof that many people who do not show courage and reject people in a mean way are unloving and they are not as people see and think of them as fearless, cool, and amazing, but in reality, people get what they are.
The butterflies are within circles because I want them to be noticed in the painting, they are important to me, as I see them as harmless, beautiful, and wonderful creatures. I compare them to sweet and loving people who are wonderful and not out to harm and scare living beings, if they don't give them a good day or they are themselves, beautiful, different and look a certain way to get attention and attraction which can lead to sex. The distance between butterflies is showing that sweet people have to stay away from unloving people who are selfish and evil.
The tribal woman is behind a silver grid in my painting, I did that because I believe that they are not appreciated for living differently and being tribal people in freedom, therefore she is behind a grid-like place, put behind bars to illustrate that if people don't do like people in the civilized world they will be looked down upon, be unimportant and get punished. The patterns like zigzag lines, circles, dots, and squares in different colors are inspired by the art of tribes, I painted them because I want them to receive the attention they deserve for being created in a good sense for people who live life simple, calm, independent and free which I believe is a healthier lifestyle for people and will make them more tolerant, satisfied and happier.
The keywords in different colors, which I have written in different sizes and at random places in front are words that I like to relate to those people who possess inner qualities I admire such as being sweet, real, and loving, which I want the world to understand that these people are more important for the world and should be heard and praised for their loving qualities to other living beings, which will ensure that they will have a life and get their needs and dreams fulfilled which in turn, will make them happy and satisfied. Keywords that distance themselves from people who are unloving, mean, dishonest, and selfish towards others which is not good for the world and will make many living beings sad, upset, afraid, frustrated, and angry. Some of the keywords I have written such as looks, sight, and attention, are because they are not as important as the looks, but more importantly, is that you are good to others like sweet and loving.

“Women on the Brain”

With pencil, crayon, and charcoal I have drawn an abstract painting with patterns and keywords in the abstract a beautiful African woman walking with a handbag, because men have women on the brain when they are born. Everything men do is to be with lovely women and get sex. Everything else doesn't matter, they don't care who she is, all they think about is her body and get sex. She is drawn into the abstract because she must not have too much attention, she does not deserve it, even she is sought after and delicious. I experience her as not loving but superior, greedy, cold, selfish and mean, she don`t want a mediocre life and if it is not amazing and perfect she despises it. Therefore it is difficult for men and people to live up to and be with her, men don`t care as much about perfection, they only have women on the brain. If men care about perfection it is because women do it and like it. The beautiful African woman I have drawn I see as the most beautiful woman. They have lovely brown skin, and full lips. Her hair is small hair tubers, she has jewelry around her neck, stomach and wrists. She wear tight top and pants to show her delicious curves and some of her skin. She wears high-heeled sandals that show her beautiful toes. She does this because she wants a perfect life, to be seen, appreciated and coveted as she surely will be, to feel amazing without being rejected. She wants to be contacted and seduced. She wants sex, to feel good, loved, delicious, special and amazing. But what you see is often not what you get, she is mostly decisive, superior, selfish, mean, and greedy and perfectionist. But you get who you are if you are yourself. The keywords placed arbitrarily, are about the beautiful woman. It is because of beautiful women evil men have created the system to make people scared. Thus men are scared of women, making it hard to seduce them. With the system, women want everything to be perfect to live safely and securely. She therefore has a wonderful butterfly tattoo on her shoulder to tell that I want her and people to be, in a more loving world, to be happy. The little loving heart at the stomach whether you not like it, is important for people, children and animals. To be allowed to be who you are, to get more sex and love, the little cross on the upper arm symbolize that we must die, that problem cannot be solved, is just the way it is, the little peace sign on the chest symbolize that men have women on the brain, but many men only dream about them and are lucky if they get sex they live with trauma caused by unloving people, or not a trauma, but no matter what, afraid of rejection. They get envy of men who are beautiful, successful, brave and are with women, and become mean to stop them from it. I want that to be stopped to be cracked down on, to put an end to that behavior, to choose love instead. To be happy, to get love and sex, and a better earth in peace, love and harmony.

“Be Yourself”

The story of the painting is that as a child I was treated harshly and humiliating by a tyrannical father for giving me social anxiety, I was not allowed to be with women, no matter what I said or did it was not good enough and I get scared and quiet, and with people I was bullied for it, It was horrible, and I changed to say something and be funny, but was like the painting illustrate a living mask, it was hard because I was terribly scared, I got a severe depression later in life, and didn't understand my life, and got psychologist help, no one in my life has been loving and would tell me about it, If there was love then my life would have been better, I would be with women because it is fun and nice to kiss, hug and have sex, and be myself no matter who I was with, because I am sweet, loving and honest, therefore love is most important, showing with love symbol, to not be selfish, mean and decisive like my father, and can be yourself. I especially see men they have a living mask on, dishonest and not themselves, afraid of emotions and not being good enough, they want to seem cool and be decisive to fit in and not be minor, if they were sweet and loving they were not afraid of feelings and be minor, and do not want to be selfish, evil and decisive like my father, but it's better and cooler if they throw off their living mask and instead be honest, themself and show emotion. I have painted the insects because they are animals that do not have to live a hard-working life where everything must be so perfect, they live simply, in the moment and are themselves and are therefore less afraid, which is a way of life for living beings to feel good. Peace, Love & Harmony